A Time for Health, Part II: The Exercise Part

It seems the hardest obligation to meet is to stay committed to some kind of physical fitness regimen. On a tight schedule, exercise is the first thing to go. We’re either too busy, too tired from being busy, or tired from thinking about being busy. Also, let’s face it, trudging out to some sort of work-out session (be it going to the gym, a class in the latest exer-dance craze, a weekly pick-up game of hoops at the “Y”, or the dreaded league bowling night) after coming home once already, is about as appealing as helping someone move. 

My own efforts over the years have run the fitness gamut. Remember 20-Minute Workout? (I won’t mention the decade.) Every morning, Bess Motta would lead TV viewers through an aerobic workout for twenty minutes from a rotating platform, which, if you did it, was probably pretty effective. But as the camera angled in on sultry Bess and her (decade “spoiler alert”) legwarmer-wearing entourage of two as they undulated through their routine, you found yourself mostly sitting on the couch mesmerized and eating sugar cereal from the box.

We can’t leave out the Jane Fonda Workout – another craze not meant for mere mortals. (I’m pretty sure this is when 9-1-1 was invented.) Somehow, I missed the whole step aerobics era – thank God. I gave Latin dance-based Zumba a try, but decided to sit out the rest of that era – Cloris Leachman on Dancing with the Stars has better knees than I do.

My latest endeavor was a cardio-salsa class with a one “Berto”. Even though anything cardio is too much sweating and jumping and excess shaking of body parts, I will sometimes make an exception when it comes to dance. Heck, we women are always complaining, “we never go dancing” — this is better than nothing. In any case, I don’t half mind Berto’s class. Truthfully, all that high-speed hip action makes my back feel better.

Finally, I settled on a form of exercise I thought I could live with:  Physical Therapy.

That’s right, PT. I’ll put physical therapy up against anything you’ve got: weight training, machines, jogging, kick-boxing, Yoga Booty Ballet®, dancing with scarves – even infomercial exercise DVD sets (especially infomercial exercise DVD sets – if I could have the $19.95 back for every one of those I ordered, I could hire a body double with a better figure.)

PT is wonderful; you hardly know you’re exercising at all. First, you lay down and rest while they put warm compresses on you, then they stretch you. I love this – you don’t even have to do your own stretching, and you've only rested! This is followed by gentle exercises that you do from a laying-down position. I had no idea there were so many exercises you could do without ever having to get up! (This laying-down feature is why I also liked Pilates when I tried that!) You might have to use some pieces of equipment: a few movements on an exercise ball, some stretches with strips of rubber material or tubing, or maybe a short routine on the weight machine, but there’s none of this sweaty jumping around. Then, after you rest (again!) on the therapy bed and are ready to leave, there are… lollipops!

How can you beat that? So, Jane Fonda and Billy Blanks, eat your hearts out!

Editor’s note: I do love physical therapy, but this was written all in fun. Do not compare my experience with yours – your doctor knows best. But, oh ranks of the unemployed, do get out and walk — after all, that is what you groused about all the years you were working! 
Pictured in actual photo of mine: salsa class featuring hidden sister.
Copyright 2012